As young children we are taught that boys don’t cry and girls need to hold in their anguish. That somehow holding in our emotions shows others we’re strong. But in doing so, it’s teaching us that bottling up our emotions is somehow good for us…normal. And so begins the cycle that makes us physically sick and mentally drained.
The problem with this is not only mental consequences and trouble dealing with the small things that life throws our way, but it is also unhealthy for our body. Working thorough our problems is much healthier. Our body functions properly when it has the proper amount of oxygen. And so, the first step is to breathe.
The mental detriment is obvious so we’ll talk about the physical for a moment. Think about how you feel when you are in a situation causing you fear, distress, anxiety. Now think about how your heart races. Your breathing is shallow and fast. This is because the lower part of your lungs…which houses tiny blood vessels to carry oxygen to the rest of the body, is not filling completely with air. Your breath is not fully expanding your lungs and is keeping you in a heightened state. Feeding the anxiety.
You’ve often heard people say “take a deep breath…relax!” This is true! And it really is that easy…once you understand how to relax and focus on your breath.
Think about it…you can’t really focus on more than one thing at a time. So if you focus solely on your breathing…slow, deep breathing that is…your mind is quieting and pulling away from the stress agent, while the body is calming itself and relaxing itself through breath. Oxygen is working it’s way throughout your body, you become calm. Your mind, which is focused on your breath moving in and out of your body is no longer focusing on the stress agent. This enables you to then look at the situation in a more focused and calm manner, rather than dealing with the issue in a heightened state.
Since you’ve been conditioned over the years to let stress overtake you, you now need to relearn the proper way to breathe. Sounds silly in a way, but it’s true. When your child is upset, you say “calm down…take a deep breath…tell me what happened.” In Lamaze class they have you work through the contractions with deep breathing. So it’s nothing new…you just need to incorporate proper breathing into your every day life!
The key to focusing on your breathing is breathing deep. Let’s try an experiment.
Right now, lie down or sit comfortably. Breathe normally. Your mind is floating everywhere. From laundry left in the dryer to your grocery list. Your breathe is probably shallow and your breathing without thinking about it.
Now, put your hand on your abdomen. Close your eyes. You should be in a quiet place. Focus on your breath. Breathe in deeply through your nose. Focus on your breath coming in through your nose and mentally focus on it as it travels to your chest, fills your lungs. Your chest rises. Keep breathing (but don’t force it, just breath deeply). Your abdomen fills and rises. You can literally feel the breathe filling your body, every inch of it. Hold the breath a few seconds focusing on it. Now let it out. Slowly. Still focusing on that breath as your abdomen sinks down. Your chest falls. The breath exits your body through your mouth or nose.
Now try it with visualization or a mantra! As the breath enters your nose visualize a soft sandy beach with the waves touching your toes…or sitting atop a mountain with a cool breeze on your face. (whatever makes you happy and calm, it can be anything!) As you breathe out picture your stress and anxiety being attached to your breath and exiting your body…your body healthy with fresh breath in it’s place.
For a mantra you could simply say (or think as the deep breath enters your nose) “Breathing in calm and joy”. As the breath exits; “Breathing out stress and anger” (of course you’ll say whatever fits your situation).
Practice this at least 10 minutes daily and you’ll be well on your way to a healthy mind and body…and…you’ll be better able to ward off stressful times in the future just by changing the way you breath. Learning to breathe is a very important part of yoga as well. Correct breath helps with posture and poses.
